Gwar Miniatures

This blog is intended to be about history and historical miniature wargaming, from time to time, when the miniatures are there, non-historical wargame miniatures will be featured. Or is Gwar, the surreal speed metal band of the 1990s and beyond somehow history?  (the band has been performing for over thirty years, since 1984, but still performs today although the line-up has changed with the death and retirement of different band members as well as the characters they portray.)

Three band members of the 1990s in 28mm scale miniature, from Left to Right, Oderus Orungus, Balsac -the Jaws of Death, and Beefcake the Mighty  (All figures on this blog were painted by yours truly.)

More 1990s era Gwar band members in 28mm miniature. From Left to Right. Flattus Maximus, Slymenstra Hymen, and Jizmak the Gusha. These three and the above figures were the band line-up at the time the figures were released. 

According to its own mythos and band background materials,  Gwar had originally been a band of galactic mercenaries and space pirates called "The Scum Dogs of the Universe." They had come to Earth millennia ago, killed the dinosaurs, destroyed Atlantis, and accidentally set the template for the Roman Empire when primitive humans had copied Beefcake the Mighty. Ultimately, however, the Scumdogs of the Universe had become frozen for centuries in the icy wastes of Antarctica. 

Somehow Sleazy P. Martini, down-on-his-luck band manager, stumbled across them, thawed them out, and convinced them to form a band and create music and bloody spectacles for the people of late 20th Century Earth. 

Sleazy P. Martini, band manager extroadinairre

The result has to be seen to be understood. As someone once wrote, "skip the recorded music. Just go to the videos." 

And thusly I offfer you . . . 

I saw them live myself twice in the 1990s and even wrote a write up and review of the show in a local publication called The Source, --not to be confused with the later hip-hop publication, the source. You find a copy here: https://web.archive.org/web/20030905065751fw_/http://capital.net:80/~phuston/GWAR1.html

In the 1990s, a company called Demon Blade Miniatures released the Gwar Miniature and Role Playing Game (really a miniature skirmish game) and it included a rule book and the above figures (minus Sleazy P. Martini who had to be bought separately) and many figures to represent the Gwar Slaves. Mindless and unimportant human scum who the band brought with them from place to place to work as roadies or be killed on stage for the entertainment of the crowd,

Gwar Slaves in 28mm scaled. 

The Rule Book

Of course, a band needs opponents to fight. One of these was Cardinal Syn, a giant robot who worked with the Morality Squad, a group that, within the mythos, tried to put an end to Gwar and force the closure of their stupid and gratuitously violent shows. Sometimes during a Gwar show these enemies of Gwar would invade the show and need to be dispatched in a violent fashion as fake blood sprayed all over the audience.

Cardinal Syn and Oderus Orungus in 28mm scale.

Other enemies of Gwar of the period included 

Enemies of Gwar in 28mm scale, from Left to Right Scroda Moon, Techno-destructo, and the Sexecutioner. 

The figures and the rule book are now long out of print and fetch collectors prices on ebay. Exactly how this strange range of miniatures came to be is uncertain, but rumor (unconfirmed rumor) had it that one of the band members took a job sculpting figures for Demon Blade Games (a company that has closed its doors sadly) and this range grew out of that collaboration. Regardless, it's kind of cool how the Gwar Miniatures range was released and thus the world became a little more interesting.